To Text, or Not To Text: That is the Question

To text, or not to text: that is the question:

Whether ‘tis nobler in the mind to suffer

The slings and arrows of outrageous voice contact,

Or take arms against the sea of talkers,

And by texting them end them? To text; to talk;

No more; and by a text we say to end

The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks

That ears are heir to, ‘tis a consummation

Devoutly to be wish’d. To text, to IM;

To IM, perchance to chat: ay, there’s the rub:

For in that text or IM what thoughts may come

When we have signed off the Facebook website,

Must give us pause:  there’s the respect

That makes the calamity of so dated technology;

For who would bear the whips and scorns of non-smart phones,

The text message limit, the lack of web access,

The pangs of despised device separation, the law’s delay,

The insolence of schools that ban them and the spurns

That patient merit of the unworthy takes,

Whens he herself his cell not quieteth make

With a button push? Who would drama bear,

To grunt and sweat a weary homework assignment,

But that the hope of something after texting,

The undiscovered app from whose bourn,

No traveler returns, dazzles the mind

And makes us reject the features we have

And upgrade to those we know not of?

Thus conscience does make cowards of us all;

And thus the native hue of screen resolution

Is sicklied o’er with the pale cast of thought,

And smartphones of great range and signal

With this regard their currents turn awry,

And lose the number of our best friend. – Soft you now!

The fair iPhone! Nymph, in thy orisons

Be all my texts remember’d