Revenge and Other Wastes of Time

There was a posting last week regarding a former national politician whose incredibly bad behavior has landed him in potential legal hot water. The blogger cited an old line she attributed to the mafia, "Revenge is a dish best served cold."

I'd like to offer a different position about revenge: It is unhealthy and a total waste of time.

The King James Bible has this passage from Romans 12:19: "Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto the wrath of God: for it is written, Vengeance belongeth unto me; I will recompense, saith the Lord."

 I learned this one a long time ago in Catholic school, and although I am not a Christian now I am clear on the message. It is not up to us to take vengeance. That is out of our purview. That will take place after we shuffle off this mortal coil. Whether it is punishment meted out by a wrathful god (which I believe to be an oxymoron), rebirth in a hell realm, or whatever else may transpire, the ultimate outcome of our actions lies elsewhere.

Now that is not to say that I don't believe that there should be earthly responses to our actions. If someone performs an illegal act and brings harm to another, then it is proper that justice be sought.  Justice is our attempt to make sure that the harmful action is not repeated, by removing the source from society for a period of time. But justice is not revenge. Revenge is an act of hatred. It is an act of fear. It is a belief that if I perceive that I or someone I care about has been wronged, then it is appropriate that a pound of flesh be extracted. Or maybe even a ton of flesh. But at what cost?

Baseball seems to have a lot of unwritten rules, most of which boil down to, "If you show us up we will hurt you. And hurting you means throwing a hard ball at your head at over 90 miles an hour." Now how can anyone really equate stealing a base when you have a 10-run lead, with trying to bean someone who may not have even stolen the base? What if getting hit by the ball ends a player's career. Is this a fair response to our hurt pride?

Not that long ago in America, a black man whistles at a white woman and gets hung from a tree by someone seeking revenge.

A group of men horribly took thousands of innocent lives a decade ago in New York, and while those men were neither from Afghanistan nor Iraq, tens to hundreds of thousands of innocent lives were lost in those countries as we sought to avenge those who died from the attacks on our soil. And to what end? We have not brought them back to life. We have not returned them to their families.

One big harm that is overlooked as revenge is desired or acted upon is the harm we do to ourselves. With each moment that we hold hatred in our hearts, we move further away from hope of peace and happiness in our lives. Our eyes and minds become clouded and we act on the delusion that we have the right to revenge.

In the Sermon on the mount, Jesus repeatedly spoke of forgiveness, “Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.” Matthew 5:7  “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.” Matthew 5:23-24.

The Qur'an makes it clear that, whenever possible, it is better to forgive another than to attack another. The Qur'an describes the believers  as those who, avoid gross sins and vice, and when angered they forgive. (Qur'an 42:37) and says that Although the just requital for an injustice is an equivalent retribution, those who pardon and maintain righteousness are rewarded by GOD.

The Buddha taught,  "If we haven’t forgiven, we keep creating an identity around our pain, and that is what is reborn. That is what suffers."

Judaism teaches, "It is forbidden to be obdurate and not allow yourself to be appeased. On the contrary, one should be easily pacified and find it difficult to become angry. When asked by an offender for forgiveness, one should forgive with a sincere mind and a willing spirit. . . forgiveness is natural to the seed of Israel." (Mishneh Torah, Teshuva 2:10)

 Whether we are a theist or non-theist, it is easy to understand the message. When we seek revenge, we do harm. And if we do harm, are we any better that those towards whom we seem revenge?