Health & Fitness
Caregiver: Know What Help You Need
Asking for help isn't easy. Determining what level of help is needed when not only helps the caregiver,it also helped his or her loved one.
Why is it so hard to ask for help? Asking for and accepting help is a complex issue. You first need to admit that having some help will make a real difference in the quality of your loved one’s, and therefore yours as well. Then you need to define what help you need.
Below are five tips to help you determine the type of help you need.
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1. Recognize that caregiving is made up of lots of individual tasks, not all of which are of the same importance. Some take only a few minutes; some may take many hours. Tasks can be easy or they can require some skill and fortitude. The challenge is to know the difference.
2. Create a list of the tasks that need to get done in any given week. This will help you to develop a routine so that you can balance responsibilities. It will also provide you with an idea about when you have time to take care of yourself (take a break, exercise, etc.).
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3. Group your tasks into categories such as personal care tasks for your loved one, transportation, household chores.
4. Write down your concerns. This will help you to think more clearly about specific tasks and how best to handle them. This can also help reduce your stress because this can begin the process of addressing what worries you in a productive manner.
5. Share your lists with someone you trust before you actually reach out for help—a friend, therapist or someone else. Then take a deep breath and actually ask someone to help with one of the tasks on your list, or ask for guidance in resolving your most persistent worry.
Just remember—the effort is worth it because the goal is better care for your loved one and yourself.
Help not only comes in many shape and sizes it is a key way to involve others who want to be part of the team because they care about you and your loved one. They know that your asking for help is a sign of strength and not weakness.
This is an excerpt from my book Three Months: A Caregiving Journey from Heartbreak to Healing (2012 FolkHeart Press). For information, visit www.threemonthsbook.com.
