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Health & Fitness

Kettlebells Cull City Council Civility

Throw some bells and ease some of that stress caused by controversial local issues.

I contend that there is a simple solution to all the angst at City Council meetings, which have only gotten more heated since the affordable housing debate or debacle, depending on how you see things. I believe this modus operandi will also work at school board meetings and if adopted, it won’t be long before the Board of Supervisors will follow Novato’s lead.

Kettlebells are the answer.

My daughters and I found kettlebell workouts a few months ago. Kettlebells are these odd shaped weights, round and flat, with a handle on the top. Of Russian origin, initially they were made from cast iron but now they are synthetic. There are many different exercises one does with a kettlebell, but a basic exercise, and the particular one I have in mind is “the swing.” Here, one grabs the kettlebell and swings low between the legs and then up way high, above the head and then back down again and then up again and again. The three of us can’t figure out why it is so much fun to swing these bells up and down but it is. Where normal weight workouts are something to endure for us, we look forward to flailing our kettlebells around. Afterward we feel very powerful and yet very calm.

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Now, like everyone who lives here not under a rock, I know there has been much to-do about the city budget dilemma, and consternation at things like paying $50,000 for signs that will highlight where the parking is downtown, as if this undertaking will somehow miraculously bump up the merchants’ coffers. We’ve also been asked to stretch the limits of our common sense by buying into ridiculous claims by affordable housing advocates while foreclosures increase every day and everyone knows someone, or IS that someone who needs scuba gear as their house plunges further underwater. The people of Novato are just fed up and are often cranky, saying nasty things at City Council meetings – and you cannot blame them, though it doesn’t always solve anything.

Parents of school-age children are worried sick about their children’s education with all the budget cutbacks, and get a little miffed when the new top dog’s salary in Novato is $195,000 a year plus perks. They get really riled up at school board meetings, again, understandably.

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I propose that the city invest in $5,000 worth of kettlebells instead. This should include a nice combination of kettlebells from 2-3 pounds for those not in great shape all the way though to about 20 pounds. The heaviest weights could be for those who are very athletic, or perhaps for those who are really “ticking” people off at a particular period in time.

For example, recently Marin IJ columnist Dick Spotswood wrote:

"When you hear that an advocacy organization is grassroots-based, the presumption is that it's run by volunteers. That's the claim from Stand Up For Neighborly Novato, a pro-housing group formed in response to the large number of Novato homeowners who object to proposals to build high-density housing in single-family residential neighborhoods. The 'grassroots' were fed by $75,000 from the Marin Community Foundation. That includes a paid staff. Annan Paterson, a former Novato City Council candidate, now acknowledges receiving a monthly 'stipend' from Neighborly Novato. That's a legitimate practice followed by many professional public policy lobbyists, but it's hardly 'grassroots.' "

Maybe Ms. Paterson would willingly grab the 20-pounder as a sort of goodwill gesture for faking her volunteer intentions.

Next, directly after the Pledge of Allegiance, everyone stands up, takes their kettlebell in hand, and along with the members of the City Council or the school board (and before long the Board of Supervisors) starts to swing. About 5-minutes of swinging should be sufficient. Blood pressures will rise, but then will go down precipitously. Everyone will feel a lot less stressed and the meeting can go on, more productively than ever could be imagined before.

There are a few caveats. Novato, like most cities these days, is scared absolutely witless about lawsuits. Mention a lawsuit and the city will cower immediately. So, folks will have to sign a release that they will not sue the city. I see one particularly large exposure. When you really get going with those swings, you have to remember to hold on to the kettlebell tightly. All the instructors warn, “ do NOT drop the kettlebell.” The problem is your hands get kind of sweaty and you are having so much fun flailing it is possible, though not probable, one could accidently let loose at the peak and it could fly across the room, perhaps hitting someone in the process. (Which depending who that person is, might REALLY calm folks down.)

However, most of us have learned that risks are inherent in most everything we do in life and some risks are well worth it.

I submit, a post kettlebell meeting survey, will get “two thumbs up.”

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