Eighteen years ago, one year after the death of my 18-year-old son Frankie Poulos in a crossover collision on Highway 37, I submitted my first "Remember Frankie" letter to the Marin IJ editorial page.  It is this a mother’s annual tribute.

I was at a social event a few months after Frankie’s death. A woman there asked, “Have you identified the gift in his death?” “What??” I said, “I am light years from gift!”

I remember thinking: what an insensitive clueless woman. It is not a gift. People often refer to the death of a child as a “parent's worst nightmare.” My husband says it best when he replies, “No, it was not our worst nightmare. It never even occurred to us that we would lose a child.” But we did.

Now, 19 years later evidence of the “gift” of his LIFE abounds!

It began with Frankie’s father, Jim Poulos, who led us out of the darkness.  In partnership with Jeff Prugh, then IJ editorial page editor, and his then assistant and now successor, Brad Breithaupt, then-State Sen. Mike Thompson and then-Assemblymember Kerry Mazzoni, Jim fought successfully to convince the California Department of Transportation to install a concrete barrier on Highway 37. As a result of their leadership and persistence, the California Department of Transportation agreed to install median barriers.  

On June 16, 1995 Caltrans announced "Hwy 37 to get concrete barrier."

From 1991 to 1995, 28 fatal accidents occurred on this deadly stretch. Since the barrier has been installed, crossover fatal collisions have ceased.

This effort is a testament to what can happen when competent, caring and committed people work together.

In 1994, Frankie’s friends and family started the Frankie Poulos Foundation.  As of this writing, more than $150,000 has been raised for nonprofit youth organizations in the Novato community in which Frankie grew up. Those organizations include San Marin High School Music, the Gary Gates Memorial Softball Field, the Novato Youth Center and Marin Summer Theater.

Our friend and Sinaloa Middle school teacher Janet Lucas once again spearheaded a teddy bear drive. Hundreds of bears were donated for the Novato Human Needs Center’s kids' shopping day. This brings our total to just short of 8,000 teddy bears!

At Frankie’s Music Night this year, Austin Wondolowski, Frankie’s best friend from high school, noted that many of the young people entertaining had not been born or were toddlers when Frankie died in 1993. They never met him, and yet his Foundation supports the programs that nurture programs for the arts, leadership development and girls softball.

The gift of his life lives on through the actions and generosity of so many.

On behalf of Austin Wondolowski, the foundation’s vice president, Jim Poulos (Treasurer), Jimmy Poulos (brother), Melissa Anderson (sister-in-law), the Emily Gates (Godmother) family, and myself, please accept our heartfelt thanks and gratitude.

I end this year as I do every year by asking that you take a moment today and "Remember Frankie."

Kelly Poulos of Tiburon is president of the Frankie Poulos Foundation.